i’m not very good at small talk, i want 2 talk about dying and aliens and sex and meaning and the sky i am terrible at asking about school and weather
It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
IM JEALOUS OF COUNTRIES THAT TEACH LANGUAGES TO CHILDREN FROM A YOUNG AGE SO BY THE TIME THEYRE LIKE 18 THEYRE BILINGUAL . IN MY ELEVEN YEARS OF AMERICAN PUBLIC SCHOOLING I CAN NAME YOU LIKE 5 COLORS IN SPANISH
imagine a milkshake place called “shakesperience” where all the milkshake flavours are named after puns of shakespeare plays
- Rolo and Juliet
- Mars Ado About Nothing
- Antonutella and Cleopatra
- Merchocolate of Venice
- Two Gentlemint of Verona
- Richerry III
It would bringeth all the gentlemen to the yard.
According to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution.
THIS. MOTHERFREAKING THIS.
Excuse me as I causally anonymously mail this to all my relatives’ homes
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Equating all Muslims with the Taliban or Al-Quaeda is like equating all Christians with the Westboro Baptist Church or those who bomb abortion clinics.
did u just
What if everything was just a bad dream and you wake up to a perfect life
maybe that’s what death is
how much money do they pay the models in stock photos
IS THAT SALAMI
When your pet adjusts their position so they can lay their head on you
so when ur famous do u just magically have great skin or
does anyone else feel kinda chubby sometimes when ur on the computer
so u just take ur shirt and
whenever i forget my headphones at home